Oh, United...

We have to do it the hard way, don't we? Can't see Celtic off and cruise through the game with Benfica. Can't just rack up an insane lead on Chelsea and cruise to the Premiership.

We bumped into my neighbour Gabby and his son, munching burgers in their car after a driving lesson. "Chelsea are losing," Gabby said happily. "United play at four. West Ham!"

Great, I thought. A chance to go eight points ahead. But no. The minute he said 'West Ham', I knew we'd inexplicably lose, like I knew Saha would miss the penalty against Celtic.

Nothing against West Ham, it's just that, well, as I say, we can't ever have it easy.